Love Gaming. Hate Gaming.

I actually have a love-hate relationship with gaming.

  • I used to steal from my dad’s wallet just to play in the nearest playstation rental place (remember those?)
  • It started me poking around my computer and lead me to my understanding of computer hardware today.
  • Me and my brother have spent upwards of 10,000 pesos over the course of 4+ years on internet cards and ragnarok cards as well as countless hours playing various MMO games (Ragnarok then Khan Online then Flyff then Dekaron and a bunch of other MMOs that I’m forgetting.)
  • It started me into writing scripts for bots and exercised my nascent logic skills (which turned out useful for programming.)

I love playing games. But it just sucks so much of my time and attention, because it’s too interesting and I’m finding out that I’m a really competitive person (even when I claim that I’m not.) Especially if it’s a game that has infinite replayability and a grind component (e.g. most MMORPGs), I’ll be gone for a week.

I’ve been able to stave this off because I play it on a dedicated computer but mobile games are now the bane of my existence. The accessibility makes it hard to compartmentalize and it provides a “good enough” dose to tide me over.

I wish to find the middle ground. Something like, play only games on weekends. Or in the evening. Something like that. But I’m realizing that it _is_ _fucking_ _incredibly_ hard.

It’s either I don’t play at all, or I just play all the time.

And I’m slowly finding out that I might have to give up gaming altogether if I want to be at 100%.
I’m trying to come to terms with this realization.

Game over, huh?