Kuala Lumpur 2018

November 10 to 16

Highways and Traffic

Almost all their major roads are smoother than SLEX. Traffic looks bearable because cars actually respect lanes. Motorcycles, however, are still pedestrians on engines. This just made me feel frustrated about Manila.

Vortex at KLCC

The unit itself was pretty nice. I guess having a local IKEA does wonders. We had a washing machine. I should’ve brought half the clothes that I did. There’s a pool and sauna that I got to use a bit. The place is right in the middle of the metro, and close to all transpo options.

Free Bus and Aircon Walkways

I wonder who funds it? What if we had that in Manila? How much would it cost? How much would we get out of it? I have a feeling that the benefits would far outweigh the cost.

Pavilion at Bukit Bintang

This place is just awe-inspiring. I get that it’s a high-end mall but, man, the sheer size of the place is just insane.

IKEA

You’re an adult when you get excited going around IKEA. I saw like 3573839393 things I wanted to buy but couldn’t because 1) money and 2) baggage allowance. Sad life. JJ was exactly the same.

Also, I missed that berry jam on brown sauce for the meatballs. I think I should try going back to Norway one of these years.

Chinatown

I wonder how much those original Mont Blanc bags cost?

Grab to airport

His hood went up twice while we were at the expressway. The first time was really scary because we were going around 120km/h at the fast/overtake lane right next to a truck.

I felt bad for him because the airport was 40 minutes away from the city proper. I wonder how he’s going to have his car fixed.

Waiting for Boarding

Someone hit me up for conversation while waiting – Danny from Muñoz that came from New Zealand on his way home for an emergency with tickets he bought the day before for 1800 NZD. He gets paid 22 NZD per hour.

Intelimina Plans

We actually went there to plan. I felt it was productive and it was nice seeing everyone join in coming up of what we should be working on as a team on one of our products. We didn’t cover the other products, and we totally should, but that’s mostly on me for now.

Back in Manila

It’s hot and traffic is as slow as always. Wrote this at the back of my Grab, going to BGC. I’m back.

On Becoming Who You Are

As it turns out, to “become who you are” is not about finding a “who” you have always been looking for. It is not about separating “you” off from everything else. And it is not about existing as you truly “are” for all time. The self does not lie passively in wait for us to discover it. Selfhood is made in the active, ongoing process, in the German verb werden, “to become.” The enduring nature of being human is to turn into something else, which should not be confused with going somewhere else. This may come as a great disappointment to one who goes in search of the self. What one is, essentially, is this active transformation, nothing more, nothing less. This is not a grand wisdom quest or a hero’s journey, and it doesn’t require one to escape to the mountains. No mountain is high enough.

Just found this passage from one of the few mailing lists I subscribe to. I think that’s by John Kaag as he ruminates on Nietzsche’s philosophy. This is the book. I haven’t read it yet, maybe one of these days.

Love, Like, Dislike, Hate – Meditations on Gifts Part 1

I tried to make this a 5x5x5x5 but I’m taking so much time on the dislike/hate part.


Love
  1. I enjoy learning new skills by applying them. I learn best when under external pressure (I have billed the client already).
  2. I enjoy explaining things to people because it reassures me the level of knowledge that I have – or don’t have – and it forces me to compose my understanding to something that can be communicated.
  3. I enjoy seeing problems get solved with constructs of my design.
  4. I enjoy creating things as part of the process of learning new skills.
  5. I enjoy seeing my progress in mastery of the skill.
Like
  1. I like considering new point of views, trying to view something based on another level’s perspective. I ponder a lot; chewing upon thoughts like chewing gum.
  2. I like talking with other people if we’re talking about concepts or their informed opinions on things and how they’ve come to that opinion.
  3. I like experiencing new things and learning something about myself in the process.
  4. I like helping other people by giving them opportunities.
  5. I like planning out my day, my finances, my food – even though I need to work on the actual following the plan thing.
Dislike
  1. I dislike talking about mundane things. Can we just skip the small talk and get on with discussing deep stuff?
  2. I dislike social media because it’s distracting and it is a huge time and attention sink, not just for me, but also for other people.
hate
  1. I hate the feeling of lack of resources.
  2. I hate the feeling of rejection.
  3. I hate traveling.
  4. I hate not being able to keep my promises.
special mentions

I have a love-hate relationship with gaming. I like games because they’re mentally engaging. It triggers my min-max persona a lot. Anyone who’ve played with me will be able to tell you how much I get into games.

But games also triggers a sense of losing control on my part. That I just can’t stop myself. It’s an addiction.

There’s also a sense of waste when I play. I’ve invested so much time and effort into playing and I have nothing to show for my investment.

 

Numbers

The same song has been playing for 2 hours now.
It’s sunny outside.
I’ve been working for 2 hours now.
The view of the pool from our window is calming.
We’ve been here for 32 days now.
I kind of like it here.

The plates have shifted.
It has been 10 months now.
But the boiling hot anger and tremors of disappointment are ever stronger.
It has been 5 years for me since I had an idea, though.
I don’t feel anything, because I knew this was coming.

I’ll stay here until I’m 30.
That’s when I plan to revisit my plans.
But now, I’m still 27.
So there’s nothing else to do but to execute.
I had an 8-year head-start.
Why do I feel like I’m so far behind?

Love Gaming. Hate Gaming.

I actually have a love-hate relationship with gaming.

  • I used to steal from my dad’s wallet just to play in the nearest playstation rental place (remember those?)
  • It started me poking around my computer and lead me to my understanding of computer hardware today.
  • Me and my brother have spent upwards of 10,000 pesos over the course of 4+ years on internet cards and ragnarok cards as well as countless hours playing various MMO games (Ragnarok then Khan Online then Flyff then Dekaron and a bunch of other MMOs that I’m forgetting.)
  • It started me into writing scripts for bots and exercised my nascent logic skills (which turned out useful for programming.)

I love playing games. But it just sucks so much of my time and attention, because it’s too interesting and I’m finding out that I’m a really competitive person (even when I claim that I’m not.) Especially if it’s a game that has infinite replayability and a grind component (e.g. most MMORPGs), I’ll be gone for a week.

I’ve been able to stave this off because I play it on a dedicated computer but mobile games are now the bane of my existence. The accessibility makes it hard to compartmentalize and it provides a “good enough” dose to tide me over.

I wish to find the middle ground. Something like, play only games on weekends. Or in the evening. Something like that. But I’m realizing that it _is_ _fucking_ _incredibly_ hard.

It’s either I don’t play at all, or I just play all the time.

And I’m slowly finding out that I might have to give up gaming altogether if I want to be at 100%.
I’m trying to come to terms with this realization.

Game over, huh?

Peer-to-Peer Psychological Easing

If you follow my sister’s blog, you’ll sort of glean that we have this family problem. (Which family doesn’t, right?)

Oh, didn’t catch that? Or don’t read my sister’s blog?
Oh well, cat’s out of the bag. *shrug*

Anyway, everything that’s going on with my family is actually the least of my concerns at the moment. I’m emotionally distancing myself from the issue, because the situation really needs someone level-headed and impartial.

This is not to say I don’t have emotions – I do. I’m not bottling it up. On the contrary, I just say it to everyone I know that cares, reputation be damned. The more I tell it to other people, the less intense it becomes.

I think “peer-to-peer psychological easing” should be a thing. You heard it first here!

Unproductive June

So, I’ve gone off my rails in the past month when it comes to managing my time.
I feel like I’ve not been contributing as well and as much as I should be.

Everything was moving and I had to settle down before I started any routines again.
So, after a month of moving around, I think I’m finally ready to fire off and pick up my speed again (which is funny, because we’re watching The Flash lately.)

Things that I want to get back on track again:
1. Timeboxing
2. Budgeting
3. Gym
4. Diet

Hmm. That sounds like everything. Looks like I have a lot of things to catch up on.

Building and installing Apache Flood (or at least as far as I got)

A more complete installation of Apache Flood (http://httpd.apache.org/test/flood/building.html)


svn co http://svn.apache.org/repos/asf/httpd/flood/trunk flood
cd flood/
svn co http://svn.apache.org/repos/asf/apr/apr/trunk apr
apt-get update && apt-get install autoconf libtool libxml2-dev make libapr1-dev libaprutil1-dev
./buildconf
./configure --disable-shared --with-libxml2
make all

Stopped here, as I get errors when trying to compile.
I hope this helps someone.